From the fire and the flames
to the shackles and the chains,
the prisoners were forced to see
the shadows they thought were reality.
One freed man's freedom
to see the sunlit kingdom
showed him the reality
he could not see
When the man went back
to tell the men in the black,
the cave shunned and disapproved him
With ignorant hearts, the prisoners stayed shackled by the limb.
The triumphant freed man in his victory
looks at the ignorant prisoners suffering in misery.
In a sonnet the words have to rhyme every other line like ABAB with the a's matching and the b's matching but other than that it's really good :)
ReplyDeleteThat's the Shakespearean way I should say about rhyming.
DeleteI really like your syntax and diction. It really put the allegory in a diferent perspective for me. I also agree with E'ana. Here is a website that I found about the structre of a sonnet http://kstevensrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/2012/11/sonnet_21.html
ReplyDeleteNice rhyming scheme. I like the way the words flow and the and how you summarized the story :)
ReplyDeletehttp://fruizrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/2012/11/allegory-of-cave-sonnet.html
Great job. I like the rhymes you used and the word flow you have . Can you please comment on mine http://epereyrarhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/?m=1
ReplyDeleteYour sonnet is pretty well structured aside from the rhymes as has been previously stated and I like the imagery within this sonnet.
ReplyDeletehttp://sgarrisonrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/2012/11/allegory-of-cave-sonnet.html
I like your sonnet I think you did a good job....however I don't think see and reality rhyme completely so if it were mine I would change those two.. But that is just me haha. Otherwise great job!
ReplyDeleteGood job Ubi, i particularly like your unorthodox rhyming scheme with say "see" and "realitY" in the first line, the syllables make it work quite well :)
ReplyDeleteCould you comment to mine whenever you get the chance:
http://hrobelrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/2012/11/my-allegory-of-cave-sonnet.html#comment-form
You did a good job. I like your choice of words just make sure you have the right format so you don't get points deducted(:
ReplyDeleteplease comment on mine: http://kporrazrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/2012/11/sonnet-allegory-of-cave.html
If there is a reason for my rhyme, it's this. I memorized a sonnet by Edger Allan Poe called Alone, and the rhyme scheme he used was similar to mine. AABB CCDD EEFF GG. Then again, I never really did a lot of research because when I searched for sonnets on google, "Alone" was one of the ones that caught my eyes. Well all I can say is that, Poe and I enjoy revolutionizing literary norms.
ReplyDeleteI really like lines 5 and 6, even if "freed man's freedom" is repetitive. The imagery is great, and it flows well.
ReplyDeleteThe sonnet I chose was by Poe as well. It follows the Shakespearean structure as far as I can tell. I suppose it might not be a definite rule. After all, this is poetry. And Poe was weird.
Rhyme scheme is off but you justified that in your comment. ABABCDCDEFEFGG Great Job anyway
ReplyDeleteI am sure others have said about the structure, nice job. I like the word choice you made. It is simple but straight to the point.:) nice!
ReplyDeletehttp://sramirezrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/2012/11/blog-post_23.html
ReplyDeleteHere's my link! If you get the chance plz comment.
Nice job. ubi!! I like the words you used and the rhyme scheme!!.
ReplyDeleteI really like it! I think you did a god job of summarizing Allegory in the Cave and it was structured really well!
ReplyDeleteSummed up the allegory nicely and the sunlight kingdom is a pretty epic way of putting it. I would try and make the "black, black" rhyme flow a little better.
ReplyDeleteYou have 14 lines and the rhyming pattern has already mentioned. Good job.
You did a good job summarizing the allegory. Your sonnet was very well done.
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job. Your lines were smooth and I was able to get a visual throughout your sonnet.
ReplyDeleteThe rhyming scheme did throw me off a little bit but you made that up with the previous comment. Really well done UBI!
ReplyDeleteI liked how your sonnet was short and sweet. It was very easy to understand. Good job :)
ReplyDeleteThis is so good Ubi! Probably the best I have read yet(: The words rhyme nicely and you did a great job! COmment on mine please? ltrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteMe like, I have to say I like the different rhyming scheme. It is refreshing to see something different
ReplyDeleteI like your rhyming scheme and how well you summarized the allegory of the cave...great job! Jut remember to write in iambic pantameter!
ReplyDeleteIambic is only for Shakespearean sonnets, but correct me if I'm wrong
DeleteAwesome sonnet :D
ReplyDeleteThe poem should go abab cdcd efef gg but it's a good start. I especially like the opening line. Could you please comment to my blog?
ReplyDeleteI like "the men in the black line". Thought it was pretty clever.
ReplyDeletePlease comment on mine.
http://pkimrhsenglitcomp.blogspot.com/2012/11/allegory-of-caves-sonnet.html
Great sonnet and awesome diction!
ReplyDeleteI liked the structure of your sonnet whether it was 'correct' or not. Awesome!
ReplyDeletenice job :) i enjoyed reading your sonnet. good good job Ubi :)
ReplyDeleteNice Ubi! Your rhyming words are placed differently then mine. But Hey your remixing the project and it turned out great!
ReplyDeleteGreat job Ubi! Your rhyming gave me butterflies.
ReplyDeleteHmmm....I think your's is my favorite. You have a nice flow. The story makes sense. Some that I have read have some obstruction. Your's appears to have no difficulty within it. In other words it doesn't read like you struggled to write.
ReplyDeleteEach stanza continues the story, revealing something new. I like this.
Definitely one of the most well written sonnets I gave read thus far.
Kaitlyn brings up a good point; you rhyme AABB not ABAB. I think this adds to the song-like quality that your sonnet has as well as to my enjoyment. If this rhyming deems this sonnet not a sonnet, do to violation of form, then who cares? It is good anyway.
Nice work.
-Trevor